Hey momma! You woke up today full of good intention. You meant to be patient. You meant to speak kindly. You meant to be present and treat each moment as a gift.
Oh, yes! Your intentions were so good.
Then you stepped out the bed.
Off in the distance, you hear the dreaded crash followed by an “uh oh.” Maybe it was that moment you knew today was going to be a challenge. Nah, it could have been the three hours of sleep you had because you were up breastfeeding the baby and you haven’t had a shower. Or maybe it was the moment you looked at your middle schooler and wondered “Where did my little girl go? Cause one of ya’ll will not survive this attitude today.”
Then night time comes.
The day is over. You fussed. Your responses were short and sarcastic. You didn’t play. Nope, you were not present.
How could I have put watching Netflix before playing with her today? Why didn’t I listen to what he had to say? Maybe I should have worked less, so I could be with him more? Ugh, I yelled again.
Laying in that bed guilt starts to fill your heart. Just like that, you question God. You question your worthiness to be a mom. I understand. As a mom of four boys, I have laid in my bed even cried in the shower, feeling guilty, unworthy and ashamed to be called their mom. But something needed to change.
So, will you join me today for us to tackle that hidden area most moms hold in their heart? Let’s talk about the dreaded mom guilt and how we can walk free today!
Self-care is a must
As mommas, we stretch ourselves to pour out into our homes and our children. We stay up late. We schedule time with the doctors. We talk with the teachers about IEP plans. We taxi the kids from one activity to the next. We do it all. Sometimes ignoring our spouses and even ourselves in our effort to be a “good mom.”
Somewhere along the way, we started believing doing anything for ourselves took away from being a loving, attentive mother. You can be present for your children and still need time alone. You can be a loving mom and choose not to allow your kid to play a sport this season. You can be attentive while choosing to want a career.
Stop beating yourself up for enjoying the quiet, for wanting to spend time alone with your spouse, or getting excited for your kids to go to bed. A part of being a healthy mom starts with being a healthy woman. If we are going to pour out continuously, then we also must be intentional in being poured in to. So take care of your mind, your body, and your spirit, when you do you can be a better mother.
Know your triggers
Lack of sleep + your monthly cycle + a hormonal pre-teen = one irritated momma
If we are going to move past the dreaded mommy guilt, then we need to identify the triggers that cause our breakdowns. Taking the time to identify our reoccurring behaviors aid us in knowing how to respond differently. What behaviors make you cranky? What responses cause you to speak sarcastically?
Once you identify your triggers, create your plan of action. Your failure to identify healthy alternate responses will only lead you back to stewing in your mommy guilt. So create a plan and get others involved.
Do you need to create an organized schedule for your household? Or maybe you need to get up 30 minutes before everyone else (gasp)? Can you enlist your spouse or others to help?
Moving toward positive change within us helps us to let go of the guilt hanging like a noose around our necks.
See the truth and expose the lies
Satan loves to use the lies we tell OURSELVES as a tool against us. He doesn’t create anything new. Nope. He merely uses the negative words you have spoken over yourself.
Only the truth of God’s word will break us free and expose the lies of guilt. He is the truth in who we are, and He alone knows who He called us to be as moms.
Even with the best of plans, we WILL fall short. But when you miss the mark, when the pity party kicks in, when you have yelled at your kid again and you keep messing it up—RUN to Jesus.
His word promises, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1: 9). His love for use never ends and His mercy never ceases—how great is his faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Yep, the fact is we mess up, but the truth is God is there to restore us every step of the way. He made no mistake assigning you to steward your children. Christ specifically gave those beautiful, talented, outspoken, creative, introverted, loving children to YOU. So momma, commit your heart to the sovereign God we serve to direct your every step. He’s got you and your babies too!