faith Mid-week three Relationships Wellness

Regaining Hope: 3 way to hold to hope when life is hard

This is not the way my life was supposed to go.

Have you ever said this to yourself? Or maybe just me.

We all have hope for our lives.

Maybe it’s you—the wife. Sitting on the couch feeling isolated from your husband. Sleeping in the same home together but living two different lives. You don’t even recognize the couple you have become. This was not the way you hoped your marriage would be.

Or are you the mom who no longer recognizes your child? You sit looking at baby pictures remembering all your hopes for the all the experiences you thought you would have with your new little one. You think of extracurricular activities, afterschool chats, and first dates. Your heart was not prepared for an angry teenager, who has withdrawn. You begin to mourn what you thought you would have, and hope seems so far away.

Maybe you find yourself 30, no husband, no kids, no degree and no closer to your dreams. You listen to people ask you questions about when are you getting married or when are you going to start that career. Of course, you thought things would look different by now, but it doesn’t. You find yourself beginning to doubt the plan God has for your life.

Sitting in the most challenging season of your life it can be easy to lose hope. Our hearts get broken. Our will is tested. Life just gets hard. During those hard seasons is when our hope can wane.

Hope helps us to believe that our relationships with our spouses and/or our children can be restored. Hope propels us forward in our dreams when everyone else has given up. Just a glimmer of hope keeps us from walking away and giving up.

As long as there is breathe in our bodies, we can choose to put our faith in a God who can put together the pieces of our heart and give us hope for the future. We can regain our hope.

Here are three ways that you can start today to choose hope in spite of the difficulties of life.

Seek God

When life is hard, we can seek comfort in all sorts of ways. We run to food, to alcohol, to control, or even to our friends to ease the discomfort and pain we are experiencing. None of this will be enough. It is when we choose to be in the presence of Christ will we experience a renewal in our hope.

In the difficult moments, God wants us to seek Him in His word, in prayer, and at the altar. He wants us to cling to him, casting all of our cares in His capable hands (Psalm 55:22).

He doesn’t promise that life will be easy. He doesn’t guarantee life goes our way.

But He does promise that if we keep our eyes focus on Him (Isaiah 40:31), He will give us the strength to walk the journey before us.

So our words have to be more focused on His truth than our situation.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I praying scripture over the situation?
  • Am I taking captive thoughts that keep me focused on what I cannot control.

Maybe just maybe, if we continue to keep our hearts centered on seeking God through the fear, through the pain, through the bitterness, we will start to notice a change in us.

It’s up to us to cultivate courageous faith in spite of the hardships of life. When we do, our circumstance may not change, but our response to it changes everything.

Seek Community

When life becomes hard, and we began to lose our hope, it is easy to believe we are alone. We begin to create false thoughts like “No one will understand” or “They won’t love me if.” Then just like that, our world becomes smaller and smaller by the day. We share less. We isolate more.

When we connect to a healthy community, we can express our feelings and experiences without judgment or ridicule. Connecting to our community can help us see situations from a fresh perspective while encouraging us to take accountability for our actions. These people are present in our lives in the good and challenging moments of life. So, let them in. Allow others to be there for you. You will be surprised how lighter our load can be when we choose to share the weight with others.

Remember, your community should encourage you to see hope and God’s truth in your difficult season. Does your community lead you to God first? Does your community stretch and motivate you to apply God’s word to your situation? Does your community check on you and celebrate how God is moving in your situation?

Seek help

For some of us, we realize that we have lost hope and have begun a downward spiral. A low moment turns into a week of withdrawal, that becomes a month with depressive symptoms. Your ability to function at work, in your home, and in your relationships has been negatively impacted by this mood you can’t seem to shake. An important step is being willing to recognize early on when to seek help outside of your relationships and community.

These continual feelings of distress can be addressed within the care ministry within your church or with a professional therapist. It is better to reach out for help before your thoughts cause you to make decisions that negatively impact you or those around you. Or maybe those around you have begun to express concern about how you have been acting lately. Consider seeking help if your distress leads to dangerous thoughts or behavior, like hurting yourself or others. Seek help and don’t wait!

Cheering you on,

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31 comments on “Regaining Hope: 3 way to hold to hope when life is hard

  1. Nice piece of work. The emotion in this writing is remarkable. You expressed a certain feeling perfectly with every word and letter. I enjoyed reading it. What a way to start my day. I hope you could follow my blog page, maybe you’ll be inspired too. Cheers! 👏

  2. Latascha Williamson

    Yes! Thank you.

  3. Faith Ladson

    Practical ways to help ourselves. I love Mid week 3.

  4. Marcia Martin

    Wow! Your blog posts get better and better. This wa so good. Thank you for reminding me to seek Him always.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Oh, thank you so much Marcia for your kind words!

  5. Yes, sometimes hope seems like the furthest thing away, and when that happens for me, my friends and family are the key. Thank-you for sharing!

  6. I can completely relate to this article. I just lost my dad. I’m not religious, but have been falling on my community a lot. Friends have been such a huge support system for me. Thanks for the share.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Having authentic relationships and a solid community helps make hard days a little easier.

  7. I personally find seeking community the most helpful. I’m not very religious but being with great people puts me in the right place.

  8. I am not religious, and I look to sources of positivity when things are bad. Like things to be grateful for, or I try to spend time with friends and positive people in my life.

  9. April Kitchens

    I have definately said “this is not how my life was supposed to go” sadly a ton of times. But it does help to have someone to talk to. A life coach would even be good.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      A life coach, mentor, or even a therapist is helpful. We just need to be okay reaching out for help in a healthy way.

  10. Barbara Alfeo

    Love these! And I love that when you find a good church, these things can overlap so much.

  11. It’s always important to seek help from others when you feel like you’re in a dark place.

  12. Even for those of us who aren’t religious, seeking community and seeking help are powerful ways to get through tough times. Good post!

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Being in a healthy community makes such a difference for both the mom and the family.

  13. I can totally relate to this. I think part of it is some self-care. I find myself taking care of the kids all the time with never any time for myself. So even taking some time to read in the bathtub or watch a show can really help, or having coffee with a friend. Sometimes we think we are so isolated, and we aren’t. Moms really in particular have so many of the same things that they go through, and it is good to connect.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Remembering we are not alone makes such a difference. We just have to communicate and reach out.

  14. Sometimes this can be so hard. SO SO hard but community has been a big one for me and of course, asking for help 🙂 This is a really really well written post <3

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Asking for help can be the biggest hurdle for sure.

  15. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of this besides when my father died when I was 20, if you’re feeling hopeless get up and do something about it. Lifes not banded fk you.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Learning how to move past hopelessness is important. Sometimes it can take longer when we don’t acknowledge how we feel and take the time to heal.

  16. Thank you for a great post. Fact is whenever we are in God, there’s always hope in our situations. What a joy to be a child of the King of kings🙂

  17. This is super relevant right now, and I’m feeling it. Giving up my worries and being in a community of others always helps.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Those are two biggies for sure Dawn. How are you planning to stay connected to community during this time.

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