Learning from failure: 3 moves to turn your setback into a comeback
Updated: March 2021
Lately, I have been embracing the new. New workouts. New ideas. New opportunities.
With every new step comes the opportunity for failure.
Let’s just say friends; I have been dealing with quite a few setbacks and dealing with a few failures too. You know those moments where technology crashes, and you lose all of your work. Moments when you realize you are not going to complete your class on time. It could be the moments the new product you made doesn’t quite look the way it should so now you have to push back your timeline. Maybe it’s starting the new workout only to get sick realizing you have to start back over.
Anytime we choose to step out to do something new, failure is always a risk.
Fear of failure can hit the deep parts of us revealing some lingering fears, doubts, and emotions. We find ourselves dealing with our feelings of fear, rejection, and control. Pressure starts to rise — frustration increases. Maybe you even think about quitting, shrinking back into the familiar.
Just as those emotions flood your body, negative thoughts might run rampant in your mind.
You will never make it.
God didn’t give this assignment to you.
You are not good enough.
What made you think you could change?
Oh, I have been there, and I have been walking this through lately. As much as these thoughts pop up and my emotions want to dictate my actions, setbacks are temporary spaces meant to teach us not stagnant places for us to live. Delays are opportunities to strengthen our focus and our faith for the weight of the assignment ahead of us.
Delays are opportunities to strengthen our focus and our faith for the weight of the assignment ahead of us.
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Right now you may feel like you want to quit—DON’T. We all face failures, but we each must decide what to do next. You can learn from your failure. You can turn your setback into a springboard for a comeback in three easy steps.
Lesson from failure #1: Learn the lesson
“How many times do I have to go through this?”
I asked myself while contemplating wanting to through my computer. I cannot tell you how many times this one question had popped up in my head when what I was working on flopped. I will go through this many time as I need until I learn the lesson. Learning from our setback is one the crucial pieces to launching us forward to our comeback.
Failures can easily take you off course or can reveal your true course. The difference between the distraction and the revelation is if you are willing to learn from your experience. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in the blame game, we learn NOTHING from our failures often causing us to endure them AGAIN.
Take time to step back and reflect on your failure.
Journal prompts:
- Why do you consider this a failure?
- What parts went well for you?
- What was within your control?
- What was outside your control?
This reflective process allows you to have an unbiased view of your experience, you begin planning the next step that will be a part of your comeback.
Lesson from failure #2: Reframe your mindset
One of the most challenging aspects of experiencing a setback is separating who you are from what you experience.
For example, if you didn’t sell any of your products after launching your business, you might think you are not smart enough to run a business. If you don’t get the promotion after working hard for a year, you might have the thought you are not good enough to lead. If you stepped out to date again, but the relationship did work out, you might start to think you are hard to love. Those negative thoughts lingering in your mind do not belong.
Your worth and your identity is NOT determined by your failure; it is determined by Christ.
Surround yourself with daily affirmations of WHO you are. Write them on your mirror. Create a screenshot on your phone. Identify scriptures of who Christ says you are. Equipping ourselves with the truth of who we are will be your weapon when unhealthy thoughts pop up in your hard seasons.
You are brave, bold, capable of doing hard things. God directs your steps and has created a seat at His table just for you.
Lesson from failure #3: Get ready for the comeback
Once you have learned from your failure experience and you have reframed your mindset; it’s time for you to prepare for your comeback.
Stepping out of your comfort zone, it’s time to put your setback behind you. You have gained wisdom. You have the resources. You have the grit. Now is the time.
- Let your speech mirror your comeback. Use words that speak life over where you are going.
- Let your walk display your confidence. You know what you are doing and your have wisdom to apply what you have learned.
- Celebrate your progress. You know where you have come from, so be sure to celebrate every single step along the way.
Comebacks are sweet. They remind us how far we have become, and the joy in knowing your setback didn’t crush you. You were down temporarily, but you decided to rise to come back. Fix your, smile girl. Pick your head up. You have work to do!
Failures in life can easily take you off course or can reveal your true course. The choice is yours. Remember, your setback can become the springboard for your greatest comeback. Take time to learn from the experience, remember your purpose, and reframe your mindset to help you get back on track. Some of the greatest minds, entrepreneurs, artists, and athletes experience failure way before they ever succeeded. They only decided to get back up, will you? Failure is NOT an option.
Cheering you on,
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suburbangoddessmom
As usual really inspiring!!! There are so many lessons to be learned when things don’t go well, we just need to pay attention and be open!
Talya
You are so right…comebacks are SWEET! I am totally with you on reframing your mindset..works a treat!
Denise
Amen! I really enjoyed reading this!
Mamie L. Pack
DeniseThank you Denise!
Des A. Scott
Reframing your mindset, love that!
myenchantingfloridalife
Love your posts, they are always very real and always inspiring. So thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing with us, and helping us to through this thing called life. I have experienced setbacks but each time, God was right there to pick me up and get me through it. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Letting g Him be strong in my weaknesses is how I roll:)
Ann
Y E S !!!!! This is such a fantastic post! Very motivational!
Jen
I love the idea of thinking about the comeback! That’s very motivating. I’m going to think about that next time I fail!
lifeofababema
This is a great post for me and is very relevant to my life right now as I am on a journey to lose the few pounds I gained from having 2 babies back to back. Sometimes it’s quite hard to see the way out of a set back but you’ve made it much easier with this super simple and PRACTICAL post. I love the way you write your articles and make them useful and easy to apply to everyday life!
STEPHANIE EDDY
These are great tips! I think reframing things is one of the hardest things to do.
Mamie L. Pack
STEPHANIE EDDYReframing does take time and discipline for sure, but totally worth it.
Brigham Knows Best (@brighamknowbest)
Love your posts mama! They are always inspirational! 🙂
Mamie L. Pack
Brigham Knows Best (@brighamknowbest)Awwww Thank you so much!!
Nicole Hood
Love the idea of daily affirmations and your phrase “Your worth and your identity is NOT determined by your failure1”
Kelly Waiters
I love this. I always need something to read to remind me to reset my brain. Thanks for sharing!
Flossie
OK, so 1) I am so sorry you’ve been facing setbacks lately! and 2) I have to say, having read what seems like a gazillion posts along these lines over the years (most of them drivel), this one was refreshingly useful and practical/actionable! ***Thanks*** for these great tips, and I am glad you’ve been able to take your rough patch and make it into something informative both for yourself AND for others looking to get un-stuck!
Mamie L. Pack
FlossieOh, thank you for the compliment. I think there is something to learn in every success and in every failure. It’s up to use to see it.
A Nation of Moms
It’s good to take a setback and use it as motivation! These are great tips, and I love taking something negative and turning it into a positive.
Salma
I love reading posts that remind me to return to my faith. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. We are all more alike than different.
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