Mommy Meltdown: 3 tips for shaking off mom guilt
Hey momma! You woke up today full of good intention. Sure, you meant to be patient. You meant to speak kindly. I am sure you meant to be present and treat each moment as a gift.
Oh, yes! Your intentions were so good.
Then you stepped out the bed.
Off in the distance, you hear the dreaded crash followed by an “uh oh.” Maybe it was that moment you knew today was going to be a challenge. Nah, it could have been the three hours of sleep you had because you were up breastfeeding the baby and you haven’t had a shower. Or maybe it was the moment you looked at your middle schooler and wondered “Where did my little girl go? Cause one of ya’ll will not survive this attitude today.”
Then night time comes.
The day is over. You fussed. Your responses were short and sarcastic. You didn’t play. Nope, you were not present.
How could I have put watching Netflix before playing with her today? Why didn’t I listen to what he had to say? Maybe I should have worked less, so I could be with him more? Ugh, I yelled again.
Laying in that bed guilt starts to fill your heart. Just like that, you question God. You question your worthiness to be a mom. I understand. As a mom of four boys, I have laid in my bed even cried in the shower, feeling guilty, unworthy and ashamed to be called their mom. But something needed to change.
So, will you join me today for us to tackle that hidden area most moms hold in their heart? Let’s talk about the dreaded mom guilt and how we can walk free today!
Self-care is a must
As mommas, we stretch ourselves to pour out into our homes and our children. We stay up late. We schedule time with the doctors. Oh, yes we talk with the teachers about IEP plans. Let’s not forget about being a taxi to transport the kids from one activity to the next. We do it all. Sometimes ignoring our spouses and even ourselves in our effort to be a “good mom.”
Somewhere along the way, we started believing doing anything for ourselves took away from being a loving, attentive mother. As a mom, You can be present for your children and still need time alone. You can be a loving mom and choose not to allow your kid to play a sport this season. Yes, it is possible for you to be attentive while choosing to want a career.
Stop beating yourself up for enjoying the quiet, for wanting to spend time alone with your spouse, or getting excited for your kids to go to bed. A part of being a healthy mom starts with being a healthy woman. If we are going to pour out continuously, then we also must be intentional in being poured in to. So take care of your mind, your body, and your spirit, when you do you can be a better mother.
Know your triggers of mom guilt
Lack of sleep + your monthly cycle + a hormonal pre-teen = one irritated momma
If we are going to move past the dreaded mommy guilt, then we need to identify the triggers that cause our breakdowns. Taking the time to identify our reoccurring behaviors aid us in knowing how to respond differently. What behaviors make you cranky? What responses cause you to speak sarcastically?
Once you identify your triggers, create your plan of action. Your failure to identify healthy alternate responses will only lead you back to stewing in your mom guilt. So create a plan and get others involved.
Do you need to create an organized schedule for your household? Or maybe you need to get up 30 minutes before everyone else (gasp)? Can you enlist your spouse or others to help?
Moving toward positive change within us helps us to let go of the guilt hanging like a noose around our necks.
See the truth and expose the lies of mom guilt
Satan loves to use the lies we tell OURSELVES as a tool against us. He doesn’t create anything new. Nope. He merely uses the negative words you have spoken over yourself.
Only the truth of God’s word will break us free and expose the lies of mom guilt. He is the truth in who we are, and He alone knows who He called us to be as moms.
Even with the best of plans, we WILL fall short. But when you miss the mark, when the pity party kicks in, when you have yelled at your kid again and you keep messing it up—RUN to Jesus.
His word promises, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1: 9). His love for use never ends and His mercy never ceases—how great is his faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Yep, the fact is we mess up, but the truth is God is there to restore us every step of the way. He made no mistake assigning you to steward your children. Christ specifically gave those beautiful, talented, outspoken, creative, introverted, loving children to YOU. So momma kick mom guilt to the side, commit your heart to the sovereign God we serve to direct your every step. He’s got you and your babies too!
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theitinerary1
Great post 😁
Danell
Love this! thanks for writing it.
Mamie L. Pack
DanellThank you for visiting!
Kaylyn
I love this list. I definitely need to work on self-care. & I never thought about paying attention to my triggers. I will definitely be paying more attention and I will be implementing this to help me shake it off!
Mamie L. Pack
KaylynYay Kaylyn! Knowing those triggers can definitely help us to not react or get thrown off course. Glad to hear you are going to be intentional in paying attention to your own triggers. Cheering you on!
Marysa
Being a mom is tough, and it’s good to reset and restart sometimes. Sometimes we think we are isolated, when we aren’t really, and other moms can relate.
Mamie L. Pack
MarysaWe are not alone, but it can be easy to believe that. When we reach out, life is so much easier.
Harassedmom (@laurakim123)
Self care is a must! Always! It is not selfish, it is essential.
Mamie L. Pack
Harassedmom (@laurakim123)Self-care is so essential Laura. It is hard to pour into others when we are exhausted.
Jasmine - LoveLifeLaughMotherhood
self care is so important
Mamie L. Pack
Jasmine – LoveLifeLaughMotherhoodYes it is Jasmine! Is there anything in particular you do for self-care?
Jordan
Oh, I so needed to read this today!! Thank you <3
Mamie L. Pack
JordanThank you for stopping by Jordan. We are glad your heart was encouraged today. We are all in this motherhood journey together.
Molly Huggins
I RELATE TO EVERY BIT OF THIS.
Mamie L. Pack
Molly HugginsOh, I am so glad it encouraged you Molly. Time to break free from that mom guilt for sure!
101foodtravel
Self care is a must, I work hard and always make time for myself so I won’t get insane. .
Mamie L. Pack
101foodtravelI am glad to hear that. Do you block off time each week or just plan it as you go along?
aerivera82
Thank you for this reminder! Lots of great encouraging tips!
Mamie L. Pack
aerivera82Thanks so much!
taylormadelife
Wow, this is great advice! I’m a mom of 3 boys under 5 and have days/nights like this far too often. Your tips are great!!!!
Mamie L. Pack
taylormadelifeOh, I have been there. I have four boys. I had three boys under 5 as well. It is no joke AT ALL. Hats off to you momma!
Lauren Jumrukovski
This is absolutely beautiful! Yes! Yes! Yes! To all of it! I actually needed to hear this today with all this illness going around in my house especially! Thank you so much!!!
Mamie L. Pack
Lauren JumrukovskiOh, yay!! We have had illness going around over here too. Ugh!
Livelearnbetter (@livelearnbetter)
Totally agree! I think one of my triggers is absolutely lack of sleep. Great advice
Mamie L. Pack
Livelearnbetter (@livelearnbetter)What can you do this week to protect your sleep?
adailydoseofmom
Thank you so much for this! Self-care is super important as a mom!
Mamie L. Pack
adailydoseofmomYes it is. It helps in so many ways.
oxfordmomma
Oh, I needed to hear this today. Sometimes the mom guilt can be so strong.
Christi
As a momma of 5 boys, you speak TOTAL TRUTH here! Mom guilt is real but totally unnecessary and avoidable!!
Sonya
Love this post, Mamie! Thank you for the encouragement to be a “healthy mom by being a healthy woman.” I couldn’t agree more!.
D'ondra Howard
OMG! All of this! YES! My teenager is getting ready for prom this weekend and also has 2 track meets this week she needs to attend. It’s totally stressing me out. Not to mention I have 2 younger daughters that have a 2 day track meet out of town. I am constantly praying for strength and calling on the name of Jesus when I begin to feel overwhelmed.
Mamie L. Pack
D’ondra HowardOh, I can relate D’ondra!!! It is wild how we will allow ourselves to get overwhelmed. Our fellas do track as well and it is an all day affair!!!!
ordinarilyextraordinarymom
I love this Mamie. I never thought about knowing your triggers. That makes so much sense. Know when my patience may be shorter than usual and act accordingly.
Mamie L. Pack
ordinarilyextraordinarymomThose triggers are serious, but when we know them we can be proactive in doing something about them. That makes all the difference.
A Heart Issue: 3 simple ways to manage stress | Mamie L. Pack
[…] guilt we feel takes us captive preventing us from seeing beyond the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” moments […]
NiTasha
This read was simply amazing! “Run to Jesus” yes, yes, and yes!!!! Satan is so cunning and constantly uses old tactics to keep us as moms oppressed and feeling lowly about ourselves. We are equipped, we have purpose, and we’ve got this!