Let’s be honest! Any marriage can become stale and stagnant. It takes effort to keep a marriage fresh and growing.
From the demands of my husband’s work schedule, our boys’ extracurricular activities, and my full-time job, some days we are just trying to get through the day.
There’s homework, check.
The list may be done, but connecting as a husband and wife becomes a little trickier.
Making our marriages stronger, more intimate and more secure doesn’t have to feel overwhelming but does require us to be intentional.
Along with prayer, give one of these three quick ways to refresh your marriage today.
See the good
Okay, when was the last time you sincerely complimented your spouse?
Did he help out with dinner so you could finish prepping for your work presentation? Did he come home early to help you prepare for your friends visiting? Choosing to acknowledge the good goes a long way. Too often our eyes see the lack. We see what our husbands did not do, what they messed up, or how they failed. Oh, we don’t mind bringing that up.
But what about what he does to contribute to your home and your marriage?
Expressing gratitude has a way of shifting your perspective about your spouse. Each compliment is a chance to speak life into him. Don’t take that moment for granted. Already determine in your mind to verbally compliment your spouse on something EVERY day. When you do, be careful not to allow any backhanded comments slide under the compliment.
Put connection in your inbox
If you are like me, you have your phone everywhere. You use your phone for banking, taking pictures, sending emails, and even doing research. So why not use your phone to build a meaningful connection with your spouse? As a military wife, I am quite thankful to be able to have texting and video chats at my fingertips. Just being able to receive an “I love you text” in the middle of the day when he is halfway around the world lights up my day. Those texts matter whether he is overseas or just 30 minutes on the other side of town.
As a couple, we can use technology for all sorts of tasks from the never-ending grocery list to upcoming family dates. Those lists are essential, but so are the texts communicating appreciation, love, and relationship. Send the text that says, “Can’t wait to see you tonight” or “Thanks for helping out with getting dinner.” Send the text to inspire him and encourage him throughout his day. When we focus more on tasks, then we lose sight of building a relationship.
Let’s put a little more connection in that inbox. Don’t be afraid to be flirty either. After all, you are texting your spouse.
Go to bed together
Most people are excited about going to bed together when they first get married. Newlyweds lay in bed all snuggled up in a blissful state, looking forward to going to bed together. But for those of us who have been married for a while, different bedtimes can become the norm. Changing bedtime patterns can easily start because of taking care of children, staying up late to complete school work, or dealing with insomnia. Before you know it, you miss connecting.
Consistently going to bed together is about more than having sex (although, that is important too). Just like you can schedule the time to workout or be at a meeting, be just as intentional in creating a nighttime routine that allows you time together. Align your schedules the best way you can, get in the bed together, and be present.
Create boundaries for this time too. As a couple, my hubby and I don’t talk about bills, the kids, or our jobs once we get in the bed. Bedtime is specifically blocked off as our time. Once we get in the bed together, phones are put up, books are closed, and crocheting stops.
What boundaries can you put in place today to protect your time together in the bed?
📷 Toni Burns Photography & Design