Marriage Mid-week three Relationships

Everyday moments: 3 quick ways to refresh your marriage today

Let’s be honest! Any marriage can become stale and stagnant. It takes effort to keep a marriage fresh and growing.

From the demands of my husband’s work schedule, our boys’ extracurricular activities, and my full-time job, some days we are just trying to get through the day.

There’s homework, check.
Laundry, check.
Bills, check.

The list may be done, but connecting as a husband and wife becomes a little trickier.

Making our marriages stronger, more intimate and more secure doesn’t have to feel overwhelming but does require us to be intentional.

Along with prayer, give one of these three quick ways to refresh your marriage today.

See the good

Okay, when was the last time you sincerely complimented your spouse?

Did he help out with dinner so you could finish prepping for your work presentation? Did he come home early to help you prepare for your friends visiting? Choosing to acknowledge the good goes a long way. Too often our eyes see the lack. We see what our husbands did not do, what they messed up, or how they failed. Oh, we don’t mind bringing that up.

But what about what he does to contribute to your home and your marriage?

Expressing gratitude has a way of shifting your perspective about your spouse. Each compliment is a chance to speak life into him. Don’t take that moment for granted. Already determine in your mind to verbally compliment your spouse on something EVERY day. When you do, be careful not to allow any backhanded comments slide under the compliment.

Put connection in your inbox

If you are like me, you have your phone everywhere. You use your phone for banking, taking pictures, sending emails, and even doing research. So why not use your phone to build a meaningful connection with your spouse? As a military wife, I am quite thankful to be able to have texting and video chats at my fingertips. Just being able to receive an “I love you text” in the middle of the day when he is halfway around the world lights up my day. Those texts matter whether he is overseas or just 30 minutes on the other side of town.

As a couple, we can use technology for all sorts of tasks from the never-ending grocery list to upcoming family dates. Those lists are essential, but so are the texts communicating appreciation, love, and relationship. Send the text that says, “Can’t wait to see you tonight” or “Thanks for helping out with getting dinner.” Send the text to inspire him and encourage him throughout his day. When we focus more on tasks, then we lose sight of building a relationship.

Let’s put a little more connection in that inbox. Don’t be afraid to be flirty either. After all, you are texting your spouse.

Go to bed together

Most people are excited about going to bed together when they first get married. Newlyweds lay in bed all snuggled up in a blissful state, looking forward to going to bed together. But for those of us who have been married for a while, different bedtimes can become the norm. Changing bedtime patterns can easily start because of taking care of children, staying up late to complete school work, or dealing with insomnia. Before you know it, you miss connecting.

Consistently going to bed together is about more than having sex (although, that is important too). Just like you can schedule the time to workout or be at a meeting, be just as intentional in creating a nighttime routine that allows you time together. Align your schedules the best way you can, get in the bed together, and be present.

Create boundaries for this time too. As a couple, my hubby and I don’t talk about bills, the kids, or our jobs once we get in the bed. Bedtime is specifically blocked off as our time. Once we get in the bed together, phones are put up, books are closed, and crocheting stops.

What boundaries can you put in place today to protect your time together in the bed?

Making time for your marriage doesn’t have to be complicated but it does have to be intentional.

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45 comments on “Everyday moments: 3 quick ways to refresh your marriage today

  1. Marriage is like the word of God. Without constant reminders we may easily flip off. 19 years down the line, we have never stopped going to bed together. It keeps the marriage alive. However, having to extensively wait for a spouse to finish up some work can be so draining especially if it can be carried forward. It’s good for each to be considerate and schedule work with the other in mind.

  2. tdonnessey

    I love this. It’s so easy to fall into being complacent in your marriage. Your post reminded me how lucky I am to have such a great husband, and I’m going to take more time to let him know it.

  3. Love this! Seeing the good is so important as it is so easy to focus on the negative. I also think going to bed together is super important.

  4. I love this article. I find myself guilty of not doing these moving so fast in this crazy world. What an awesome reminder to show my husband some love and appreciation.

  5. lisajakesmomma

    These are really awesome tips! Marriage is hard work in theory, but doesn’t have to be. Sometimes paying attention to these little details will make all the difference in the world

  6. These are great ways to strengthen your marriage every day. Tips we can easy implement. Thanks!

  7. We really stink at working at our relationship. It just used to come so easily. Daily texts are still a thing though.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      It is a daily walk Rachel. So much pulls away from building the relationship that we have to intentionally lean in.

  8. 101foodtravel

    This is very true. I love your post and great tips. Sometimes we just forget to take time for us as husband and wife. Because all we can take is to accomplish things everyday and pay bills. But I think slowing down and making time for the marriage is a great idea. It definitely help a lot.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      We can get so caught up doing the things we forget to enjoy being together. Anything you will do to refresh your marriage this week?

  9. Scheduling time with each other works really well. Sounds a little unromantic but it works when life is busy!!

    • Mamie L. Pack

      No unromantic at all. It is an intentional decision to connect. Life can get busy and you are choosing to make sure your marriage is a priority. Yes!!!!!

  10. I completely agree with you. My husband travels a lot for work (like 2/3 of the year). I realized this past week that I hadn’t told him how much I appreciate him and his sacrifices for our family. Lets just say, that made his day, it made his day even better when I give him a kiss, like a REAL kiss, not a peck. We tend to start going through the motions and this little gesture went a long way and brought us back closer to one another and we made US a priority again.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Oh, April! I absolutely LOVE reading this. Little steps go a long way in our marriages. So kudos to you for “seeing” your hubby and showering him with love and affection. Yay!

  11. I love this! You have to continue working on and with eachother to keep it fun and interesting

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Thanks Stefanie! Marriage should indeed be enjoyed. Anything work for you?

  12. Love this! You have to continue working on and with eachother to keep things fun and interesting.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Absolutely Stephanie! Marriage is a journey where we continually learn and grow together.

  13. I find going to bed at the same time as my husband really makes a difference.

  14. Going to bed and getting up at the same time doesn’t always work for us with our work schedules, but the few hours between putting the girls to bed and one/both of us going to bed each night are our time to “connect” – to talk about everything from our days to the bigger more important matters, to reflect and share stories and funny anecdotes about the girls, and to just snuggle while we watch some netflix. The nights we can’t do these things, I really miss it!

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Connect. I love that Flossie. Ultimately that is what we are doing. Working on choosing to stay connected in the daily routines of life.

  15. Can I just add on date nights? Those are very essential and important.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Yes Natasha! Those date nights are important. As a couple we need alone time.

  16. Oh i love these simple ideas. I’m going to text my hubby something sweet right now whilst he’s at work xxx thank you xs

  17. Thank you for this encouraging post. It seems so easy to connect with my husband, and so hard at the same time. Definitely takes work and intention.

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Yes it does take intention and work Jami! That’s is why I remind myself everyday to choose my marriage. Even if it sitting down to talk without multitasking or sending an encouraging text. What is one thing you can do today for your marriage?

  18. I needed this! Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes we get so busy and it just gets away from us.

  19. It is s easy to get so tied up in the busy-ness of life, this post reminded me to reconnect in my relationship. Thank you!

    • Mamie L. Pack

      Yay Yasmen! Being aware of your distractions help you to take steps to change.

  20. We recently got our baby on a nighttime schedule and love getting to finally spend alone time together right before bed.

  21. Meredith

    So important to make sure you each feel loved and appreciated! Great tips!

  22. Sent my love a little text 🙂 thanks!

  23. It’s so easy to get “behind” on your marital connection after kids. I love your tips and I’m going to put them into play ASAP!

    Angel | Mommy-ing Differently

  24. These are such important tips to remember! Small as they may seem sometimes, they can have an enormous impact! Thank you so much for sharing.

  25. This is such great advice thank you for sharing I’m going on 11 years of marriage

  26. I try to remember to send my husband a sweet text when he’s at work – usually before I ask him to do something for me 😉 Great tips!

  27. Pingback: Boost your sex life: 3 habits hurting your intimacy in marriage (and what you can do to improve it) |

  28. These are great ideas to connect with your spouse. Sometimes in the midst of craziness, the small things help tremendously!

  29. Lindsey | GreenMamaLife

    These are great tips! I definitely need to work on supportimg the flow of intimacy. I’m so focused and goal oriented sometimes I forget to just show I care. Thanks for sharing!

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