Safe Spaces: 3 ways to improve communication with your spouse and children
Do you remember the last time your spouse or kid felt frustrated, annoyed, or irritated by your response?
How did he/she respond?
Did he withdraw his heart? Did you find yourself reacting instead of responding?
Creating safe spaces where those we love want to talk often starts with the environment we create.
When our spouse and children feel that they are in a relational safe space, they are more likely to talk about their emotions, hopes and fears. Improving communication with your spouse and children is vital to your family. Our communication with them feels less like an interrogation causing their hearts to be open and the environment is peaceful.
Today I am talking about 3 ways to improve communication communication with your spouse and your children.
Check out the video below.
What does this look like?
Here are a few ways to create safe space at home with your spouse and/or kids.
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Christi
“Their WORDS matter. Their PERSPECTIVE matters.” Such an important point to drive home in the hearts of those special people around us!
Mamie L. Pack
ChristiYes!!!! Sometimes we get so caught up trying to prove our point and be heard that we stop hearing those who matter most around us.
Nicole
the share vs talk about <3 thank you thank you
Mamie L. Pack
NicoleI am glad you were able to gain a takeaway!
Kristie | Girl Mom Chaos
I have to check myself every once in a while. Sometimes, I can go from 0 to 60 in 2.7 seconds. It is something I have to make a concerted effort to work on so that my kids + husband feel like they can talk to me + tell me anything. It is ALL about my reaction to the situation at hand.
Mamie L. Pack
Kristie | Girl Mom ChaosYes Kristie!!! I am with you. I have to exercise self-control even when my kids don’t. I am the adult and I set the tone for my home. Some days are definitely more challenging than others.
easypeasyclemonssqueezy
I love this. You are so right. I need to understand how MY reactions make a difference in how we communicate. So often we want to put the blame on the other person, but so many times it does come down to how did I respond to that. Thank you for posting this!
Mamie L. Pack
easypeasyclemonssqueezyToo often we are taught to find the flaws in someone else instead of taking responsibility for ourselves. The only person I can control is me.
Sarah
Love this! Especially about their own perspectives. Very insightful
Ayesha
Being and feeling respected are SO important. When I tell people I give my daughter respect it’s like it’s a new concept to them that children are humans. lol
Mamie L. Pack
AyeshaYes!! Our children need us to model respect even with them.
Sam
I try to keep my emotions in check so that I’m always approachable. My kiddos are still little, but I really hope that as they grow up, they feel like they can confide in mom about anything. Communication is always something my husband and I work on. It’s a forever work in progress, I feel like.
Mamie L. Pack
SamSam you are right! Open communication is an ongoing part of marriage and our relationships. We never arrive. We just continue to evolve together.
Erin
Ive really been working on this in my communication with my husband. He’s told me that he feels like he can’t be honest with his feelings at times because he fears my reaction. I’ve really tried to be more of a safe space for him.
Mamie L. Pack
ErinIt is great he communicated his concern to you. Now the next step is how you steward that information. So much of effective communication is actually active listening. A skill I still work on, but it helps us to hear to listen without listening to respond.
mylittleduniya
Yes creating that safe space matters a lot
Mamie L. Pack
mylittleduniyaYes it does!
lorena
Great post. I really need to work on my listening as well. It’s so hard!
Mamie L. Pack
lorenaYou are not the only one for sure.
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Tree Chic
Such an important thing to do for those we love and respect, and the role modelling aspect will really help them later in life!
Mamie L. Pack
Tree ChicHow we model for our children is vital to their development for sure.
Kale @ steakandkale.com
Realizing you set the tone for your home as a momma is so important! I am constantly having to check myself.
Mamie L. Pack
Kale @ steakandkale.comIt’s great you are checking yourself and being aware of how you are impacting your home.
Annie
Great advice! I can definitely relate to coming across as an interrogator and it’s hard to recover from that moment. Will try these tips out!
Mamie L. Pack
AnnieYeah! It is hard something not to ask 21 questions just to get them to open up with details.
Susan Evans (@SusanCEvans)
To accept and respect each other is so important to cause the other person to WANT to communicate with us.
Lindsey | GreenMamaLife
This is so helpful and important! Although we’re not perfect at it, we try to practice nonviolent communication in our home. It’s really important for everyone’s well being to feel that your safe and can always express what’s needed.
Mamie L. Pack
Lindsey | GreenMamaLifeOur homes are meant to be a safe space for sure. Sometimes we have to unlearn unhealthy behaviors to create it.
Stephanie
Such great tips and advice! I do my best to try and make sure my kids feel heard and comfortable sharing their feelings.
Mamie L. Pack
StephanieThat is wonderful Stephanie!
Erin
What an awesome post!
Mamie L. Pack
ErinThanks Erin!
Kimberlie
I needed this message today on being slow to speak. I am a talker and I take up conversations at time, limiting my ability to “listen.” It’s something I’m working on and your reminder of how it can negatively affect a spouse and children was impactful.