Motherhood Joy: 3 ways to replenish your heart when you face mom burnout
Hey mama, I know all too well that life is tough.
You want to be a “good” mom, do your best for your kids, and be a loving wife. But it’s not always that easy.
I get it.
Several years ago, I was a young mother with three sons (one a newborn) in a new city with little support while my hubby was on deployment. As if that was not enough, I had recently transitioned out of my career to embrace being a stay-at-home mom. (Talk about significant life changes). Between potty training, breastfeeding, and homework, I was exhausted.
I was too tired to cook healthy meals.
Too tired to fold the laundry.
Too tired to work out.
Too tired to even talk with anyone to say I needed help.
Most nights I crashed in my bed, baby latched to by breast, feeling like a failure. My thoughts ran rampant with my inadequacies.
I was overextended and weary. I was a mom who felt burnt out.
Momma, if you are feeling burnt out right now, you are not alone!
Women from different walks of motherhood often experience mom burnout at some point in their journey. Believe me; exhaustion does not discriminate. You can be a working mom, a stay-at-home with a husband who travels for work, a mom with two kids under four, or a mom of teenagers. We all can experience mom burnout.
But be encouraged. Living burnt out does not have to be the way you walk out your motherhood journey. You can ignite your flame to walk boldly in your assignment as a mother. Today I encourage you to take three steps to help you embrace the joy in motherhood.
Let’s talk.
Seek help
Do you have areas in your life that stress you out about taking care of your home, your job, or responsibilities that are causing you to feel disconnected with who you are as a mother?
It may be time to delegate and consider allowing others to step in.
As a military wife, there were seasons where we had no family and no community. My children were with me all the time. The lack of support and breaks only added to me experiencing mom burnout. Communicating my needs and accepting help provided the breath of fresh air I needed to start enjoying motherhood again.
As a mom, seek help. No one will ever do what you do the way you do for your children. So, choose your battles wisely. Allow your friend to watch the kids so you can finish your homework. Yes, I know grandma may let the grand-babies eat too much sugar or watch too much TV, but let the kids go if it means you get to sleep.
Consider allowing others to bring dinner for your family to allow you a night off from cooking. Sometimes the meal may not be the homecooked dinner you would prefer, but you get a chance to focus on other areas and rest.
Do what you need to and leave the rest
This is just as simple as the statement you just read. We often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves as mothers because of the expectations we have in our minds. Think about what MUST be done in the day. We spend more time being busy that we are not taking time to do the things with the people that matter most.
At the end of the day, your children want YOU-a mother who is physically, mentally and emotionally refreshed to enjoy being present. YOU matter. Your family sustains because of the vital contributions you make every day. Choose wisely! Every day ask God to give you the wisdom to know what needs your attention and how to leave the rest behind.
God’s grace is enough
Guess what momma? You are not enough, and that’s okay because we serve a God who is. He gives us the grace to walk out each day with patience, tenderness, wisdom in joy. Too often we are overwhelmed and exhausted in motherhood because we are trying to do everything in our strength. We worry about the kids. We worry about the bills. We worry about our health. We worry. All of this worry only steals away our energy and creates a negative perspective.
So trust God to guide you each step of the way. Surrender all of your worries to Him. When we call out to him for direction, He will answer. Not sure how to help that strong-willed child? Go to the one who created your child. Not sure how to guide your child with a learning disability? Ask for wisdom on what to do and how to get help. Going to Christ to guide our hearts, words and actions is one the best decisions we can ever make as mothers.
azzamap
Thanks for sharing your tips.
Daphne' Adams
Grace over perfection!
Mamie L. Pack
Daphne’ AdamsYes Daphne!!!!
tweilbacher714
Great tips! The mom burnout is real. Giving yourself some grace, and relying on God’s strength, are essentials! And community – having a few other moms that you can turn to can go a long way!
Mamie L. Pack
tweilbacher714Community has been a life changer for me as a mom. How were you able to build community?
Cindy
This is really great advice. Burnout is no fun. So important to take care of yourself!
Mamie L. Pack
CindyTaking care of ourselves is so important Cindy. What do you do for self-care?
TammySD; of Telling Hearts
You have much wisdom and admirable messages for your audience! I invite you to reach out to me personally if you want to expand your internet ministry. We have a growing group based on Titus 2, called Titus Women’s Gathering. We really don’t need anyone joining just for self promotion but if you have time to invest in relationships, it surely is a group with momentum. My personal e-mail is tammydunlap64@gmail.com. Blessings in Christ,
Mamie L. Pack
TammySD; of Telling HeartsThank you Tammy!
Sirenas World
Great advice love! Something that helps me is a schedule! For example it seems like there is never ending laundry! So laundry day is Thursday for me, I only do laundry day on that day. Whatever I get finished is what I get finished. I don’t do it on Friday if I have extra time or Saturday, I use that extra time if any to relax or enjoy time with my little human. It helps keep me sane! 🙂
Mamie L. Pack
Sirenas WorldThat is a great suggestion, especially for never ending laundry 😆😆
Jacquelyn Van Sant
Wonderful tips! I am experiencing a little mom burnout myself right now.
Mamie L. Pack
Jacquelyn Van SantI can relate. What are you doing to help replenish yourself?
Rachel Mayew
Thanks for building community right here online, Mamie!
Mamie L. Pack
Rachel MayewThank you for being a part of the journey!
littlelotte7
I love this, so true! 💗
Ann
Mom burnout is real!! Thank you so much for these tips. We all need some grace every now and then.
Lauren
This is an excellent post with great ideas! I especially love when you mention that we are not enough and that it’s okay because we serve a God who is! Just beautiful and so true! I needed this today!
Sierra
Delegating has really helped me but it wasn’t an east thing to do at first because we naturally want to feel like we can handle it all. I wouldn’t survive if it wasn’t for God’s grace. Sierra Beautifully Candid
Mamie L. Pack
SierraYes Sierra! I don’t know why we feel like we have to do all things for all people. So glad you are allowing others to step in and resting in God’s Grace.
Elizabeth | Tired Mom Supermom
Mom burnout is so real. I am so lucky I was able to talk out my burn out with a friend and she helped me get through it. It seems to come and go with waves! Us moms are too hard on ourselves sometimes, and we need to read posts like these to keep spirits up. Thanks for writing!
Mamie L. Pack
Elizabeth | Tired Mom SupermomSadly this happens all too often. In many ways because of our expectations and lack of support system. Having people we can be transparent with makes such a difference.
lalatomama
We definitely need these reminders. Some days it feels like everyone needs something from us and it’s never enough. I have started becoming okay if with the dishes not being done every night because I just need a little time to relax sometimes.
Lorena y Lennox
Mom burnout is so real! Thank you for this insightful post on how to deal with the struggle.
lifeloveandlittles
I love the point you made about his grace. I survive daily on his grace! It’s easy to get burned out as a momma, and it’s so important to take time for yourself—happy momma happy kiddos! 🙂
Chelsae
These are great tips. Someimes burnouts can happen so often and its often hard to get out of the funk and reset. Help is always my first step, just asking for help and having time to myself can make me feel like a normal person again.
Sonja- Too Much Character
What encouragement and positive words you have to share with mamas in the thick of it. Giving myself grace and letting go of perfection are things I try to remind myself of daily.
Cultivating Motherhood: 3 bad habits hurting your relationship with your kids (+ what you can do about it) |
[…] matters and models how to actively listen to others. Being a good listener is an essential key to cultivating a healthy relationship with our children. When we listen, we are fully present and able to hear the heart of our children. […]
M. J.
Girl, I needed this advice. It has been a DAY! Actually it’s been a whole year! I love my kids but I will be the first to admit I am not the homeschooling type, and this virtual schooling has been a challenge. Thanks for the tips on avoiding mom burnout, cause this mama is burning out real quick!
Mamie L. Pack
M. J.Oh, this distance learning this is whoa!!! It is hard. I totally get it.
Mary Rooney Armand
Great advice especially with what is going on. Your posts are always very helpful!
Mamie L. Pack
Mary Rooney ArmandAwww thank you Mary!
Yvonne
Wonderful ideas to help. Thanks for sharing
Collene
These tips are so good. Mom burnout is rough but implementing these tips will help. I espeicially like the tip to do what you can and leave the rest. Our kids need our presence more than anything.
Barbara Laman
Don’t sweat the small tough is what I told myself when I didn’t have enough energy to do it “all” when my child was small. Great tips for motherhood joy. Your 3 ways to replenish are wonderful and can be applied in all seasons of life. Thank you! God’s grace is enough, Amen!!!
kariminter
Such great tips!! Thanks for sharing!
Ava James
This is encouraging, I asked a question a few weeks ago on social media and it seems alot of people are struggling with this issue. I was planning to write a blog post 😊
Teresa Hodge
Oh wow! I’ve been there! Mom burnout is real. I liked how you pointed out that burnout isn’t where we have to stay. And this…“Guess what momma? You are not enough, and that’s okay because we serve a God who is.” Lots of spiritual and practical insight! Great post!
Sheryl Mendoza
Amen! God is enough! We could not stress that enough daily! Yes, we also need self-care to better serve others. Thank you for this post!
Mamie L. Pack
Sheryl MendozaThank you for reading!
Donna Miller
Love this, Mamie! Mom burnout is very real and I love how this post lovingly helps the mom to recenter herself.
Mamie L. Pack
Donna MillerThanks Donna!
Evangeline Samuel
Thank you, dear sister. This was so useful.
Mamie L. Pack
Evangeline SamuelThanks for reading.
Summer
This month has definitely been “motherhood burnout month” for me! Very encouraged by your words and looking to restore “motherhood joy”!
Mamie L. Pack
SummerI think many of us have been there last Summer. You are definitely not alone.
Rachel Mayew
So important to ask for help! I’m bad about getting so in the thick of things that I overlook that option. But you know what really stood out here/ for me? A reminder not just to stand up for myself and my kids by asking for help, but also reaching out to friends when they may not be doing the same for themselves. Such an honor to be on both sides of that coin. Thanks for the mama encouragement.
Mamie L. Pack
Rachel MayewYes, Rachel! We are better together and sometimes we need to be the one reaching out.
Holly | imwithholly.com
Great tips! I struggle with the “Do whats needed, leave the rest”. I always feel like I NEED to do more. Its an issue for me, and I’m working on it!
Mamie L. Pack
Holly | imwithholly.comLearning how to not focus on doing more changes a lot.
Kari
Mom burnout can be such a hard phase of life, we all go through it. But know that it does get better and that doing your best is all you should focus on. Progress not perfection!
Mamie L. Pack
KariOh, yes! It is indeed beautiful when we focus on progress instead of perfection.
Danielle
Great tips! Burnout is common but as mamas we need to do our best and give ourselves grace
Mamie L. Pack
DanielleGiving ourselves grace is so important.