I was going to quit.
Two years ago. One year ago.
Every October, it seems I found myself here-contemplating walking away from writing, walking away from blogging, walking away from my calling. Fear would begin to bubble up in my heart. Doubt would creep into my mind.
What was I doing? Who was I?
Every insecurity I had about myself would come flooding to the top bringing all sorts of reasons I should walk away.
All the reasons except one—God.
Who I am, my story, my voice, and my gifts are a testimony of God’s redeeming love. He has restored me, redeemed me, healed me, and loves me.
Here were are again—October. We are celebrating our two-year blogaversary with you. (Cue exciting squeals) Can I tell you something friend? I am so excited to say this year was different.
Every year I thought about quitting because I allowed the voice of fear to be louder than the voice of God. I wanted to run away when God was calling me to run to Him. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by my insecurities instead of being overwhelmed by His grace.
A part of continuing my assignment from God in this season is hearing His voice and holding on to His truth.
Instead of the reoccurring doubts, I am moving forward with a renewed resolve. A resolve to dig deeper. A resolve to live surrendered. A resolve to continue to be used by God.
Do you doubt your place today? Are you considering walking away from your kingdom assignment? Is fear whispering in your ear:
Who are you to lead your family?
Who are you to start the business?
Who are you to go back to school?
Who are you to be a momma to those precious little lives?
Who are you to get help?
Who are you?
If you said yes, you are not alone. Oh, I am quite familiar with the voice of the accuser who wants to trap us in the web of his lies, to bind our hearts to our fears, and hinder us from fully walking in our identity and purpose in Christ. I know the fear of feeling like an imposter, feeling underqualified, and feeling unworthy.
But friend, our fears are not truth.
How do we overcome fear so we can walk in bold faith? How do we ignore the lies to hear God’s voice of truth?
Know God’s truth
Knowing God’s word for myself is the only way I can identify the difference between who God says I am and the lies of the enemy. So when fear starts to creep in, I go to His word. I write Bible verses on my bathroom mirror, on sticky notes in my office, and work on memorizing scriptures.
Some of the scriptures that encourage me in those moments are:
- “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
- “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
- “Fix your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6:34 MSG
- “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ, Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 NLT
One way I walk away from fear is choosing to show up to what God has called me to do anyway. Even when I am insecure, I write anyway. Even when I don’t know how it is going to work out, I do the work anyway. Even when I doubt if I am doing things “right,” I take the next step anyway. Fear cannot be the determining factor when I make my decisions.
Instead, rely on the Holy Spirit. Knowing when God has released you or redirected you are entirely different from walking away because of doubt and fear. When we listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, there is peace, even in the middle of hard decisions. Making decisions out of fear always leaves us experiencing stress, anxiety, just an overall yuckiness. So friend, choose to show up.
Show up because God is with you.
- “Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Show up because God has given you grace for today.
- “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness,” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Corinthians 12:9 NLT
Show up because God has given you the strength you need to do the work He has assigned to your hands.
- “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him—my father’s God, and I will exalt him!” Exodus 15:2
Remember it’s all about Christ
Fear can creep in when I make God’s assignment about ME. Ouch! I know that sounds a little hard, but it’s true. Anytime I focus on sustaining my assignment in my strength, focus on letting people down, focus on what I might lose, or focus on my mistakes; fear always finds a way into my heart.
Keeping my focus on Christ changes everything. Letting my thoughts, my motives, and my actions be led by Christ doesn’t allow room for fear. Instead, my heart fills with praise, gratitude, and hope. When I follow God’s intricate plan for my life, I can trust He has worked everything for my good. Less me—More Him.
- “Summing it all up friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your mind and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful not the ugh; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you have learned from me, what you heard, and saw and realized. Do that, and God who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:9 MSG
- “Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.” Proverbs 28:26
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
Let’s both decide to put fear aside and continue to say “yes” to God. Decide today to hold fast to His word, to show up, and keep God the main focus.
Now I wanna hear from you. What would you like to see moving forward this next year? Drop your ideas below.
I am so excited about celebrating this next year and grateful you are joining me along the journey. You will continue to see more topics on marriage, motherhood, and military life (+anything else God drops in my heart to share).
Let’s do this,