We all have some bad habits. We just don’t think about how they get in the way of living he life we want.
If you don’t take notice, these bad habits interrupt your day, preventing you from being present in your relationships and accomplishing your goals. You end up paying the price both physically and mentally.
By the end of the day, you go to bed drained, discouraged, and feeling disconnected.
Even when we make up our minds to enjoy our day, our bad habits find a way to mess it up.
Now, I don’t have all the answers to changing bad habits. But I do know three habits that we can all stop and what you can do about them, so tomorrow is a better day.
Are you the type of person who is always “in your head”? You know. The type of person who lays in bed at night replaying conversations about things you should have said, opportunities you missed and analyzing if you did everything “right.” Although there are several benefits to reflecting on our day so that we can grow, improve and learn, reflection is not the same as overthinking. Overthinkers can spend hours stressing over large decisions or minute detail. Unfortunately, overthinkers don’t tend to focus on all those warm and fuzzy thoughts. Nope! Instead, all of those thoughts are permeate in negative self-talk leading to a feeling of being overwhelmed and discouraged.
Sadly, too many of us get stuck in our heads. We lose rest. We waste time. We feel stressed. Overthinking takes away from enjoying our day.
- Set time limits to reflect: Just because I say stop overthinking doesn’t mean it is just going to end. So, if you are going to overthink, give yourself a certain amount of time to get it all. What are you thinking? Why are you feeling it? What has you worried? At the end of your timeframe, get up and do something productive. Just don’t sit there spending more time thinking about what you were thinking.
- Set the next step: Overthinkers often get stuck in their heads because they see all the “what ifs” and stressed by all the options. Excitement quickly leads to overthinkers becoming overwhelmed. To combat this behavior, identify just the next step. Don’t focus on the big picture. What’s your next step? Do it.
“They never do anything right.” “I always have to do this myself.” “How hard is it to help out around here?” “They never listen to anything I say.”
Has this ever been you? I know it has been me when I have seen one too many messy bedrooms, dirty clothes on the floor, or have been overlooked for a position at work. Complaining happens without even thinking about it. Whether you feel comfortable calling it venting or fussing, it’s still complaining. And you know what? Nothing is ever solved. We end up upset, irritated, and probably nagging the people around us.
What do you do when you find yourself always complaining? Simple. Turn your complaining to gratitude.
Every time you start to complain about what your spouse did or did not do, choose to speak words expressing your thankfulness for what he does do for you and your family. Before you start complaining because the kids are on your last nerve and you can’t ever seem to have anything nice, choose to express your gratitude for being a mother and the opportunity to raise your children. There will always be moments that push us to our limit, but even then we can decide to use our words to express our gratitude. It’s our choice.
Learning how to identify the best yes is often a challenge when you get invited to do things you want to do. Yes, you want to get coffee. Yes, you want your kids to be on the soccer team. Yes, you want to do a couple’s night out. Yes, yes, yes. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Nothing makes a mom turn into a walking nagamomster (A nagging mom monster! Yep, I made that up. You’re welcome!) than when you are rushing the kids out the door because you scheduled too much for your day. You fuss. You yell. You just are not nice to be around. Then we have the nerve to say it the kids fault for making it hard to do things. It wasn’t your children. It’s not school. It is about how you manage your time.
Overcommitment impacts those we love the most because we are not present enough to enjoy the moment. Our eyes are regularly checking the clock or for phone alerts. Our bodies are too tired to enjoy being intimate with our spouses. Our attitudes and patience are short.
You can turn this around with a simple NO. Embrace white space on your calendar. This white space will allow you the time to do the things that you want to do with the people who matter most. When you say yes, ask yourself:
- Do I have time to say yes and enjoy this?
- Am I saying yes out of obligation?
- Does this even matter to me?
- If I say yes, where will I say no?