Love yourself: 3 ways to rediscover who you are so you can love who you’ve become
Do you miss her?
You know, the girl who was happy. The girl who had plans. The girl who was fun to be around.
But now . . .
Now, this girl has forgotten how to dream. Her heart is hurting. She looks in the mirror to see a body she doesn’t recognize. She doesn’t know who she is anymore.
The girl is lost.
She tells herself:
“I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“I’ve lost myself.”
“I don’t recognize who I’ve become.”
She walks around in a woman’s body. A wife. A mother. A sister. A friend. Yet, the little girl in her is screaming—see me.
See the girl who is filled with hope. See the girl who has dreams. See the girl who believes in the good in others. See the girl who loves who she is.
See her.
Maybe you find yourself in this season now. You are taking care of your husband. You are taking care of your children. You have been so busy taking care of everyone else that you’ve forgotten who you are.
I’ve been there.
So let’s talk about three ways you can rediscover who you are so you can love who you have become.
Embrace who you are and let go of who you were
Too often we feel lost when we are stuck focused on who we used to be. As our lives expand from becoming a professional, a wife, or a mother, we change. In many ways, our hearts grow and what matters shifts. We miss the woman we used to be before heartache, before challenging life speed bumps, before broken relationships.
But you know what? This may be hard to hear, but you are NOT her anymore.
Those experiences, positive and negative, have become a part of your journey. They have helped to shape your heart. You CANNOT go back to who you were before the divorce, before the miscarriage, before your marriage, before the new promotion, before your three kids. Your life is different. As long as your focus is on trying to capture the old you, she will always be just outside your grasp because she doesn’t exist anymore.
This is who you are NOW.
It’s time to rediscover who you are and to love yourself.
So love her.
Love the beautiful, strong, vibrant, resilient, creative, intuitive, intelligent, loving woman you have become.
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Love the beautiful, strong, vibrant, resilient, creative, intuitive, intelligent, loving woman you have become. Celebrate your strengths. Celebrate all that you have overcome. Celebrate all the good that has evolved from your life experiences. Instead of being focused on who you were, take time every day to embrace and celebrate who you are. Every day, write or say something out loud good about yourself and the woman you have become. Recognize how much you have grown and praise God for growth!
Journal prompts:
- Write about a past struggle you have overcome. How did it make you stronger?
- Write about a time you were proud of yourself.
- Write down the positive ways you have grown.
- Make a list of 5 things you love about yourself today.
Create space for reflection and growth
Sometimes the feeling of being lost is scary and hard to accept. It consumes our thoughts and pulls us away from enjoying our life fully. To love yourself and rediscover who you are, you need time to recognize the changes, understand why the changes have happened, and make steps forward. I know this can be hard when there is so much clutter to our day, but it is necessary. Create space to get quiet so you can reconnect with YOU.
Not sure where to start? No problem. I have provided a few questions below to help you get started reflecting on how to rediscover who you are. Once you are aware of what you think, then you can decide what is true, what to celebrate and what to take to God.
Journal prompts:
- Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
- What do I like about myself now?
- What matters most in my life in this season?
- What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life?
- What is God calling me to do in this season?
- What decisions am I making out of fear? How can I make them decisions of faith?
- How would I describe me in this season to another person?
Connect to what brings you joy
When you step away from the roles in your life, do you know what makes you happy? When was the last time you had fun? Do you remember how you felt? What did you do? As we grow older and our responsibilities increase, we can lose sight of the joy we experience in doing things that make us happy.
Instead of living life, we become driven by the long to-do lists and mundane aspects of the day. Before you know it, you are moving aimlessly throughout the day waiting for the next long weekend or the next vacation to do anything that makes you happy.
So, what can you do?
I encourage you to identify what makes you happy, separate from what you do as a professional, a wife, or a mother. Make a list, literally. Write down as many happy actions as you can. Do you enjoy writing? Exercising? Playing games? Reading? Organizing? Write it all down. Nothing is too big or too small. Then identify something you could do each day to connect with what makes you joy and work it into your day. When you do, be aware of how it makes you feel. Does it add joy to your day? Does it help you enjoy the other aspects of your day? Take time to rediscover who you are. You are worth it.
Journal prompts:
- What gives you joy?
- What can you do each day to connect with that brings you joy?
- Make a list of things that make you happy.
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I hope today you see the brave, strong, capable woman you have become. Allow who you have become to be seen and celebrated everyday. Speak words of life over yourself everyday. Choose today to love yourself as you are now, not just the woman you used to be. The world needs the woman you are now.
Celebrating your growth,
The Kaleidoscope Effect Blog
Lovely post! As women we get so caught up in the every day stuff that we forget to surface and just breathe! I definitely need to make more quiet time to connect with me and make my list – I love making notes and lists 🙂
Mamie L. Pack
The Kaleidoscope Effect BlogReflection and quiet time is so important.
Gail
This is beautifully written! I’m saving it to reread again and to send to some people I know that need to hear this!
Mamie L. Pack
GailOh, thank you for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Sarah Giltner
Thanks for the insight! For so long I felt like I had lost “who I was” but I didn’t realize that the changes in my life made it possible for me to be in a wonderful marriage and have a beautiful daughter. Now I can finally embrace who I am because I know what my purpose and my future is.
Mamie L. Pack
Sarah GiltnerYes!!!!!! All of it has shaped you into who you are now. Embrace it!!!
Fran Jorgensen
i love this empowering post, it’s such a trap to thing in hindsight ,we need to love ourself just like that …
Mamie L. Pack
Fran JorgensenAbsolutely!!! Love yourself!!!
snippetsofbliss
Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear – see her, but appreciate who I am now. Thank you for these inspiring words 💕
Mamie L. Pack
snippetsofblissYes!!!! Embrace who you have become instead of mourning who you were. See Her!
mamapret
Such wise words! And very true!
Mamie L. Pack
mamapretThank you!
Kayla
I think it’s really important to connect to yourself. This was a great post
Mamie L. Pack
KaylaYes it is! Thank you!
thisjoyfullife11
This is so beautiful! Beautifully written!
thisjoyfullife11
Wow this is great! So powerful
And empowering
Mamie L. Pack
thisjoyfullife11Thanks for taking time to stop by.
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Jenn
I love this! It’s important to recognize the past, but it doesn’t always mean that’s who you are completely today!
Mamie L. Pack
JennWe evolve and that is okay. It’s okay to let go of who you were so you can embrace who you are.
A Nation of Moms
I can totally relate to this. I never have time for myself, and now I am just a mom. I don’t have time to read any more, and gardening is now yard work. It would be nice to get back to doing the things I enjoy once in a while.
Mamie L. Pack
A Nation of MomsKnowing what you enjoy will help you prioritize making time for those things even in little ways.
Bellissimamma
Thanks for today’s motivation, Mamie! I can totally relate as a mom. I love what you said about celebrating who we are NOW. YES!
Mamie L. Pack
BellissimammaOh, thank YOU for stopping by!
Ariana
Great questions, I think we should all take the time to contemplate who we are, accept what has changed and be proud of how far we’ve come and this is a fantastic way of doing it!
Mamie L. Pack
ArianaAbsolutely Ariana! Our experiences continuously shape who we are and help us to evolve. Change is okay and healthy. It’s when we are stuck in the past we struggle.
Harassedmom (@laurakim123)
LOVE LOVE this post. This may sounds strange but I found turning 40 gave me permission to just be happy being me.Every day I am loving who I am more and more 🙂
Mamie L. Pack
Harassedmom (@laurakim123)Turing 40 was so liberating.
LadyInRead (@LadyInReadvt)
I keep looking for that little girl as well, so very often but I also love the me I am now;; thank you for this post
Mamie L. Pack
LadyInRead (@LadyInReadvt)Yay!!! Loving you now is so powerful!
Nicole
I really needed to read this! This is me 100%. Thank you for sharing the questions and advice. I am going to start making me time.
Mamie L. Pack
NicoleYay!!!
Tiffanie
Love this post. I need to read this. Growth and change is sometimes scary and challenging, but I always have to remind myself that it is part of life and I praise God for it, as He is always by our side!
Mamie L. Pack
TiffanieI often remind myself change will happen but growth is a decision. It’s up to me if I want to grow.
Katie @ Teacher and the Tots Blog
So uplifting! I love that you said you cannot go back to who you were before (before my kids on my case) and to embrace who you are now.
Mamie L. Pack
Katie @ Teacher and the Tots BlogThe beauty of accepting who you are now is the strength and wisdom you gain becoming who you are.
Lanae Bond
That is right we should celebrate ourselves especially how far we come.
Mamie L. Pack
Lanae BondAbsolutely!
Amy
Awesome post full of insight and encouragement. Thank you for this encouragement ❤️
Mamie L. Pack
AmyOh, thank you for stopping by!
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[…] Choose inspiration not comparison: How often how we heard comparison is the thief of joy? In reality, comparison is the fuel to a toxic person. Choosing inspiration causes us to step up to be the best version of ourselves while comparison causes you to try to be like others. Every day allow the strength and fortitudes of others to inspire you to go after the dream inside of you, love your husband, appreciate your children, or do well on your job. The goal is to be YOU. […]
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[…] Choose inspiration not comparison: How often how we heard comparison is the thief of joy? In reality, comparison is the fuel to a toxic person. Choosing inspiration causes us to step up to be the best version of ourselves while comparison causes you to try to be like others. Every day allow the strength and fortitudes of others to inspire you to go after the dream inside of you, love your husband, appreciate your children, or do well on your job. The goal is to be YOU. […]